When you see her, you know it. Maybe she could be the one. But… The problem is: “What the hell am I going to talk to her about? You get that thought a lot, don’t you? Things happen because you think them. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s actually just a fancy word for: you can make things happen if you truly believe in them and it’s not just a fairy tale stereotype! For example: when one single bad emotion controls our brain, it could restrain us from taking action. You’re in doubt and it prevents you from going to a girl and starts talking to her. How is it even possible that we think that way? Let’s go back to medieval times where talking to a lady could kill you. You were never completely sure whether the lady belonged to another knight or not. That knight could then challenge you for a battle and you could get killed. Look… We’re not in medieval times anymore. The chance of dying from starting a conversation is 0%! Still, it’s normal that these emotions sometimes take over. It’s biological, I guess. But, the thing is; we have knowledge now. We have the knowledge, that if you follow the next three tips below, you’ll never ever have to fear again from starting the conversation with possibly the love of your life…
1. That pick up line that always does the trick!
Well, to be honest, if there was such thing as the perfect pick up line, I would definitely share it with you. I mean, one line that makes every woman feel so good, you won’t have to do any extra effort. How AWESOME would that be!?
Well, I’ll have to disappoint you, guys. That sentence does not exist! “Hey, who are you/what’s your name…” doesn’t need any creativity and will do the job as well. Please, from now on, stop spamming my e-mail inbox with the question for the best pick up line.
2. Do whatever you did before… Opposite!
The main reason why men always fail in talking to women is that they have specific reasons to do so.
Different reasons, including:
* They want sex
* They want a girlfriend
* They want attention
If these reasons are your drive of trying to connect with women, you’ll always do something wrong. These things can be very small, but also very meaningful. You won’t realize, but you’ll come across as needy. Women feel this and there isn’t a woman on earth who thinks that is attractive (or she’s desperate, and we want to stay far away from desperate women!) Try to approach a woman from another point of view. “How can I make this more fun” for example.
Only thinking positive will make you walk around with a different vibe. If you’re in a good mood, you’ll be fun and you’ll make jokes and smile a lot. So get yourself in a good vibe, and your intentions will be different. No neediness from your side! A big plus!
3. Small steps will get you further
Starting a conversation with a woman doesn’t always go as planned. It’s a skill. And skills need training. If it doesn’t work out as you would have hoped from the first time, don’t worry. Don’t be demotivated. It’s normal! Compare it to playing an instrument. Quite logic that you’re not going to be the new Bach right away! But with some good exercise, you might learn how to play his music and then later on maybe even create your own music. See where I’m going?
So take it to step by step. Starting by just saying “Hi” to someone and then step away, could be the first step. At least you said something! Then gradually lift your level.
A warm-up is a second option. It has the purpose of letting the good emotions in. Good emotions make bad emotions go away. And with those bad emotions, you’ll get rid of the neediness I talked about before. It will make you be able to start a conversation with anyone. So how do you do such a warm-up? Gradually taking steps is the key! Start with something small, f.e. asking for directions. Do it a couple of times and you’ll get the grip of it. You start with the exercises to eventually take the knowledge you gained and use it in real situations. Another exercise could be to go to random strangers and start a conversation with them. The game could be to keep the conversation going for five minutes. If you succeed, you’ll get rewarded. If not, don’t worry, you’ll get another opportunity. Start off with older women or women you’re not attracted to (that aren’t your type) to avoid any pressure. The purpose of these exercises (or games) is to learn how to be social. So don’t talk all the time, but also ask questions. You’ll learn this on the job!
4. Anyone can be social!
Being social is something you can learn. And that is exactly what we do at Amnesti! Contact us and we’ll talk about what you need and what you can learn with us.